Deschooling: What Do You DO All Day?

One of the things that public school-to-homeschool people recommend is taking some time to deschool yourself and your child from the public school mindset.

This gives you both time to get to know each other and gives the child time to explore his or her interests, and find out just who they are and who they want to be. This process can take quite a while. In fact, the recommended time frame is one month for each year your child has been in school.

There are no books, no curriculum, no tests, no assignments.

Now, not everyone chooses this route - in fact, many parents that go from public school to traditional homeschooling skip this step altogether. 

But for those of us that are deschooling (and for those that did in the past) there is one question on everyone's minds:

WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY???

Well, the simplest answer is:

nothing

Now of course, that's not the most ACCURATE answer.

In fact, it's not true at all.
During our time deschooling (which we're undergoing now and will be for some time) we have:
visited hospitals

seen courthouses

played with animals

went for walks

gone to the library

gone shopping

played video games

read books

looked at x-rays

talked with LOTS of people

helped on a farm

watched movies

studied feathers

made art

made gifts for friends

cooked

joked

played

crocheted

made plastic canvas art

snuggled

sang

danced

giggled

To be honest, we didn't do THIS MUCH when Miss E was in public school!

And there are so many other things we have planned:

A trip to the zoo

A trip to a farm

A trip to a dairy

A trip to an art museum

Trips to the park

painting

clay sculpting

more reading

and much, much more.

So, as you can see, deschooling is just doing nothing. 

But at the same time, it's also trying EVERYTHING!

For more information on deschooling your child, visit these links:

Pam Laricchia discusses deschooling on her blog Living Joyfully

Unschooling guru Sandra Dodd's thoughts on deschooling

Tammy Takahashi gives a traditional homeschooling view on deschooling here

Traditional, Classical, Unschooling OH MY!!!

There are about 50,000 different ways to homeschool a child.
You think I'm kidding? Google it.
There are several "techniques" or "philosophies" on homeschooling.
There's the traditional method - you have a curriculum, you schedule your day like a school day, kids do work in workbooks, take tests, that kind of thing.
There's the classical method - which is primarily based on literature and philosphy.
There's the theme or unit based method - where your curriculum circulates through different themes and ideas.
Then there's unschooling - which is a child-lead learning/teaching philosophy.

Then within each of these methods there's FURTHER ideas like curriculum specifics, ways to do it, and when to do it.

Seriously. It's enough to make one's head spin.
Have you ever heard of getting information overload?
I have it.

I have printed out free curriculum, ordered books, read online articles, journals, magazines  message boards, facebook and yahoo groups . . . And that's just in the last month.

See, I want to make sure that I'm doing this RIGHT. I don't want Miss E to ever look at me one day and say, "Mom, why did you pull me out of school? You're an IDIOT."

Okay. She would never actually say THAT, but you get the point.

My largest amount of research has gone into a very radical method of homeschooling - unschooling. You'll hear me talk about this a LOT I imagine. In fact I just ordered Sandra Dodd's book "Big Book of Unschooling" and can't wait to learn more about it.

In a nutshell - unschooling is about letting your child take control of his or her own life and letting learning happen through life experiences on a daily basis. There is no schedule. There is no curriculum. There are no breaks or vacations. It is an organic learning process. Think there's no way a child can learn without a textbook?

We went outside and made discoveries of flowers and feathers which lead to a combined discussion on botany and ornithology.
We went shopping and Miss E counted her change which was a math lesson on both money and counting by fives.
We watched Scooby Doo which led to a conversation on the Tudor family (it was a renaissance fair episode) and Renaissance England.

Miss E has learned - AND RETAINED - more in the last two weeks of "doing nothing" than she did with textbooks and tests. And here's the fun part - I've learned a few things too. I've learned that "I don't know - let's go look that up" is a perfectly acceptable answer. I've learned that Mary Queen of Scots was NOT Elizabeth's sister ("Bloody Mary") like I thought (HOW did I not know that??). I've learned that bird feathers and flower stems have similar compositions, for different reasons. Every day I learn with my daughter, and sometimes I learn FROM her.

Am I certain that unschooling is going to be the right choice for us? Not one bit. But I have a few more months to figure that out. In the meantime, I'm going to continue to research different curriculum and different methods of homeschooling. And I am also going to enjoy spending time with my daughter and enjoying every moment I get with her.

The First Month: Part II

For some background on why we chose to homeschool, visit my blog SuperMom Blues.
For the first part of this story go here.

Week 3 marked a pivotal moment for us. First of all, it was the moment that I realized there was more to homeschool than just sitting around a table drilling math facts.  Second, it was the week I realized just how much Miss E hated writing.  Finally, it was the week that showed me that, regardless of Christmas break, we both needed time to "decompress" from the public school mindset. 

For me, teaching was all I'd ever wanted to do in life. Having my child home with me was the perfect opportunity for me to live that dream. I was all set to play "teacher" - ready to "get tough" when needed. And I did get tough - sometimes a little too tough. 

My daughter throws temper fits like you wouldn't believe. She has the ability to make one's jaw drop when watching her throw one of her "fits". Her meltdowns put John McEnroe to shame. So you can imagine my surprise when I found her attempting to journal something, and she was just sitting there, silently weeping. My heart broke. I sat down next to her and immediately started asking questions. I thought maybe the assignment was too hard - maybe I was asking too much? But no, it was neither of those things. The simple answer was, she couldn't think of anything to write about and she was embarrassed and afraid of disappointing me. She thought that she would get a bad grade on it.

Now keep in mind that we'd had NO discussion on grades whatsoever. In fact, I wasn't even thinking about them at the time. But it was so ingrained in her mind that everything she did would be graded - watched, judged . . .

I had heard of "deschooling" before, but kind of just pushed it aside. After all, she was ONLY in third grade. How much time could she need?

Those in the know say that deschooling should happen over a period of months equal to the number of years that a child has been in school. So, since Miss E has been in school four years, including Kindergarten, she would require four months to deschool.

FOUR MONTHS?!?!?!

Yes. Four months. But here's the clincher  During that four months, the child is allowed to spend the day doing whatever they want - even if it's playing video games or watching TV. It is time to be considered a long vacation - for the both of you.

Now, reading that set me on edge a bit. Isn't four months extreme? I can understand a month, maybe. Or two. But four??

Then I realized something else. Miss E wasn't ready after almost a month of being out of school for Christmas break. Neither was I, for that matter. We both need time to break away from old habits and old mindsets. This is a bit of a challenge in some respects, as her brothers and sister are both still in public school for the time. But it's also been enjoyable.

We started the deschooling process in week 4. We took time to breathe and found feathers and flowers on the ground for a future art project. We went to the library where Miss E took it upon herself to check out books on Queen Elizabeth I and Mary Queen of Scots. We made trips to the outside world and she learned how to count change.  The most challenging part of the last couple of weeks for Miss E was when the cashier at a local thrift store had her count her change. She wasn't prepared for the "quiz", and neither was I for that matter. 

There are also some changes happening with Miss E. First of all, she is getting herself ready in the morning. This is a huge step for us, because until now it was always ME getting her ready.  Second, she has had fewer meltdowns. She, so far, seems generally HAPPY for the first time in a long time. She's smiling and laughing more. She's curious more. She WANTS to learn - and that's what it's all about.

My next post will be exploring technique and curriculum.  Thanks for joining our journey!

The First Month . . .

For some background on why we chose to homeschool, visit my blog SuperMom Blues.

December 2012:
When we (okay -I) decided to homeschool Miss E it was one of the toughest decisions I'd ever had to make in my life. For one thing, I was going to be with my very high-strung daughter 24/7. For another, I would have to give up my free time. Also, I LIKED her teachers! In fact, her PE teacher was my husband's cousin, and her homeroom teacher was HIS wife - these were people I spent time with outside of school at family gatherings and reunions. I was afraid of hurting their feelings! My final thought was "how am I going to do this???"

I was actually quite surprised at the support I got from outside sources, however. Her teachers were 100% on board. They'd miss her, but they understood that this was probably best for her. Her final day of class was the day of their Christmas party. She was ecstatic to be homeschooled.

January 2013: Her excitement was so grand that she designed her own curriculum - she wanted astronomy, math (specifically multiplication), reading, and computer work. I agreed with all the above, but added journaling and history to the mix. Thus our homeschool was set. We made a few trips to Half Price Books and Mardel's, found lots of what we wanted. Miss E was so excited that she didn't want to wait. She wanted to begin on her birthday, January 5. Before either of her brothers would even return to school.

So, we did. On January 5, 2013 we sat at the kitchen table to do school. We didn't take any time to deschool, didn't even think about doing it any other way. I had planned on saving money for a full, more expensive curriculum later.

For the first week, things went well. The Astronomy book (based on Creationism) was a little more preachy than I liked, but Miss E enjoyed it. I had given her a math assessment to take, and she did so joyfully. We did her math at the table using homemade manipulatives. Astronomy was on the couch, as was reading. And then there was journaling . . .

Miss E hates to write. It's very difficult for her. You see, she has something called dysgraphia. This is a form of dyslexia that is translated into writing rather that reading. Same connection, different location. She can read just fine - beautifully, in fact - with no switching of letters or flipping of numbers. But the connection is lost somewhere between reading and writing. Along with the dysgraphia she has been diagnosed with ADD (attention deficit disorder) and ODD (oppositional defiance disorder). These three things together can mean an explosion when the right ingredients are mixed in just the right proportions. Journaling was the precise mix needed.

Needless to say, trying to get her to write in her journal was a nightmare.
I tried to make it fun by making it whatever she wanted to write about that day.
I tried to make it simple by telling her she could write as much or as little (even one sentence) as she liked.
I tried to bully her into it by threatening punishments for not doing.
I begged. I pleaded. I coerced. I bribed.
She melted down.

It was sometime during week 3 that I had an epiphany.
Maybe I was going about this thing wrong . . .
It was at this point that I learned about Sandra Dodd, John Holt, and something called Unschooling.

(To Be Continued . . .)