The First Month: Part II

For some background on why we chose to homeschool, visit my blog SuperMom Blues.
For the first part of this story go here.

Week 3 marked a pivotal moment for us. First of all, it was the moment that I realized there was more to homeschool than just sitting around a table drilling math facts.  Second, it was the week I realized just how much Miss E hated writing.  Finally, it was the week that showed me that, regardless of Christmas break, we both needed time to "decompress" from the public school mindset. 

For me, teaching was all I'd ever wanted to do in life. Having my child home with me was the perfect opportunity for me to live that dream. I was all set to play "teacher" - ready to "get tough" when needed. And I did get tough - sometimes a little too tough. 

My daughter throws temper fits like you wouldn't believe. She has the ability to make one's jaw drop when watching her throw one of her "fits". Her meltdowns put John McEnroe to shame. So you can imagine my surprise when I found her attempting to journal something, and she was just sitting there, silently weeping. My heart broke. I sat down next to her and immediately started asking questions. I thought maybe the assignment was too hard - maybe I was asking too much? But no, it was neither of those things. The simple answer was, she couldn't think of anything to write about and she was embarrassed and afraid of disappointing me. She thought that she would get a bad grade on it.

Now keep in mind that we'd had NO discussion on grades whatsoever. In fact, I wasn't even thinking about them at the time. But it was so ingrained in her mind that everything she did would be graded - watched, judged . . .

I had heard of "deschooling" before, but kind of just pushed it aside. After all, she was ONLY in third grade. How much time could she need?

Those in the know say that deschooling should happen over a period of months equal to the number of years that a child has been in school. So, since Miss E has been in school four years, including Kindergarten, she would require four months to deschool.

FOUR MONTHS?!?!?!

Yes. Four months. But here's the clincher  During that four months, the child is allowed to spend the day doing whatever they want - even if it's playing video games or watching TV. It is time to be considered a long vacation - for the both of you.

Now, reading that set me on edge a bit. Isn't four months extreme? I can understand a month, maybe. Or two. But four??

Then I realized something else. Miss E wasn't ready after almost a month of being out of school for Christmas break. Neither was I, for that matter. We both need time to break away from old habits and old mindsets. This is a bit of a challenge in some respects, as her brothers and sister are both still in public school for the time. But it's also been enjoyable.

We started the deschooling process in week 4. We took time to breathe and found feathers and flowers on the ground for a future art project. We went to the library where Miss E took it upon herself to check out books on Queen Elizabeth I and Mary Queen of Scots. We made trips to the outside world and she learned how to count change.  The most challenging part of the last couple of weeks for Miss E was when the cashier at a local thrift store had her count her change. She wasn't prepared for the "quiz", and neither was I for that matter. 

There are also some changes happening with Miss E. First of all, she is getting herself ready in the morning. This is a huge step for us, because until now it was always ME getting her ready.  Second, she has had fewer meltdowns. She, so far, seems generally HAPPY for the first time in a long time. She's smiling and laughing more. She's curious more. She WANTS to learn - and that's what it's all about.

My next post will be exploring technique and curriculum.  Thanks for joining our journey!